What would happen if, during a day of our summer break, the kids and I stayed home ALL DAY, and the kids entertained themselves ALL DAY, while I did housework, rested, made phone calls, and generally took care of various things in my life?
No new toys. No playdates. No screen time. No errands or outings. Just staying at home.
Yes, yes. This is what I need. This is what the kids need. To play at home contentedly; to get along with each other reasonably well; to enjoy outings but enjoy being at home as well.
Today the kids have been playing at home all day, up until the present (1 p.m). A few hours were spent with a neighbor playmate; the rest of the time they have been alone. There have been a few skittishes, but otherwise it’s been smooth sailing.
For me, I have so many things to do (lots of cooking; laundry; assembling products to sell for my business; doing work at my computer) that I need this time at home. Not to mention the fact that we will have company tomorrow (hello, housecleaning) and we are going out of town the day after tomorrow (hello, laundry and packing).
I believe that in previous generations, children have had to entertain themselves at home much of the time. Such a shocking concept, but one that I wholeheartedly practice in my home.
This summer, I generally use mornings to do cooking, laundry, general tidying, grocery shopping, and other things that need attention like phoning to make appointments and making plans for things that are coming up such as birthdays or trips.
(At our house, there is PLENTY of cooking to do; we don’t generally eat grains, so that rules out pasta, cold cereal, hot cereal, bread, crackers, granola bars, and other quick and easy staples of the American diet.)
Since my kids are age 8 and 5, and they are ‘always’ with me, what do they do during mornings? They do their own list of morning chores and they also entertain themselves. I have decided that this summer is not going to be endless excursions to do fun things. Don’t get me wrong — we go to the local pool as often as we can, and do other activities as well, but I am in charge of running huge amounts of household stuff, and I need time to do so.
If we are always out at library story time and playground meet-ups, not to mention recurring commitments such as swim lessons and t-ball, when am I going to take care of my responsibilities? No way do I want to be doing laundry at 9 p.m., unless there is a good reason to do so, like an upcoming trip we are packing for.
I consider this my Mommy Declaration of Independence.
Straight from the heart, here is the truth this morning.
When my alarm went off, I did not want to get up. I got to bed too late, in part because my 3yo Mark went to sleep very late. This was because I allowed him to nap for 3 hours yesterday, until about 5:30 p.m. I was curious to see what would happen with his bedtime (that is, his actual fall-asleep time). Sure enough, he was awake until almost 10 p.m. This kid is a tricky sleeper, to be sure. I could go on and on about how we try to tweak his nap time, bed time, etc., in order to get him well rested and sleeping on a schedule that works for our family. To all of you who have children who are tricky sleepers, my heart goes out to you.
This whole morning, I have not felt like dealing with anything. I have been avoiding showering and getting dressed. I have been rotating in and out the audiobooks that Mark is listening to, hoping that he’ll like them and stay engaged. And stay out of my hair.
I have a meeting at 10 a.m., while Mark is at preschool, and I am glad that I have this meeting (a new client for my business), but I wish it could have fallen on a different day, a day when I feel a little more human. A day when I’m not fighting (and losing) against my sugar addiction. (I use the term “addiction” because I don’t know what other term to use; I mean no disrespect to people who battle addictions to other things.) A day when I feel “up” about my business and feel like I can handle thinking about the details that need to be attended to.
This morning, every fiber of my being wants to crawl into bed and read my book. I don’t want to shower, get dressed, get Mark to preschool, and meet with a client. I just want to hide from the world for a few hours, quite honestly, and possibly take a nap.
Thankfully, I don’t have bigger, badder things to battle today. But these are my battles, nonetheless.
All day today, I have felt very worn out. Like it was a chore to just get up and walk across the room, not to mention actually getting anything accomplished (either physical or mental).
I finally took a nap after lunchtime, when Mark went down for his nap (glory hallelujah), and now I feel totally and completely energized. And almost frenetic thinking about all of the things that I can or should get done.
My big guy, Adam, will be home from school soon. How much will I be able to do once he’s home? We shall see. The real question is how long Mark will nap.
It’s been quite a week, with some very positive emotionally charged things going on, and then an emotional hangover afterwards. Will try to write more about that later.
With two young children, a small house, a full-time job as a SAHM, and my own business, there is no such thing as a lazy or relaxing Saturday morning.
I think – no, I know – my morale took a beating today.
Today was Day 3 of Hubby being out of town. Yesterday was long, but I was focused on “let’s enjoy summer while it’s here” and had a good day overall. Today – I don’t know what exactly was different, but by the time I was serving supper to the kids, I didn’t have much good humor left to endure DS2’s shenanigens and DS1’s complaining and bad attitude.
I texted Hubby to give him a heads-up that by the time he got home from his trip this evening, I would be glad to see him but maybe not in a very good mood. I explained that I felt like a hamster stuck on a wheel and that I was very tired of it. I also explained that I have a million things on my to-do list, yet I’m lucky if I can take care of my basic needs. I hope he will be understanding.
I’ve recently re-instated FlyLady routines into my day, and it definitely helps to keep CHAOS away. It’s also a lot of work to actually DO laundry every day and CLEAN the kitchen/kitchen sink every morning. I think I’m enjoying the fruits of my labor, but also feeling the effects of not plopping onto the couch every time I feel the urge. I’m sure Hubby being out of town also plays a large part in my feeling overall wigged out and worn out.
This morning, from 6:15 – 9:30 a.m., I spent nearly all of my time on the following tasks
It was one week ago that my family and I returned from our gigantic (to me) European trip. I truthfully had no idea how difficult it would be to get back into the swing of things here at home. I had no idea about the sleep and clingy-ness issues that would arise with 2-year-old Mark. I had no idea how much fatigue would affect me, as well as feeling depressed, unmotivated, and unfocused.
This morning, I told Hubby that I truly do not want to be grumpy and negative, and that I’m working to figure out what types of things will help me move forward. I theorized that “getting back into FlyLady” might be good for me, as it seems that the times when I’ve followed FlyLady routines and mindsets have been good times in my life.
I went to iTunes to look for the FlyLady podcast; I used to listen to her podcast a lot while working around the house. It seems, though, that she no longer has a weekly podcast that is HER. All I can find is the Flylady and Friends podcast which cycles through Gramma, Leanne Ely, Missus Smartypants, and so on. (Do any FlyBabies have advice for me here? Am I missing something?)
Anyway, Hubby took both kids to church stuff this morning, where I will join them later for the worship service. Meanwhile, I have some RARE!!!!!! time to do my FlyLady routine, tidy up, and have some time to myself (hence this blog post). Next up is some devotional time, another piece of my life which needs to get back into place.
On Saturday (July 2), my family and I arrived home from a 10-day trip to Europe. The jet lag that I had after arriving in Europe was *nothing* compared to what I’m experiencing after arriving back home again. The time difference is 7 hours.
It may have to do with how worn out I got during our trip, which was full of rushing around and tending to the kids, especially 2-year-old Mark, all of the time and never really getting a break or down time.
My experience so far, after returning home
The Honest Mommy 
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