Straight from the heart, here is the truth this morning.
When my alarm went off, I did not want to get up. I got to bed too late, in part because my 3yo Mark went to sleep very late. This was because I allowed him to nap for 3 hours yesterday, until about 5:30 p.m. I was curious to see what would happen with his bedtime (that is, his actual fall-asleep time). Sure enough, he was awake until almost 10 p.m. This kid is a tricky sleeper, to be sure. I could go on and on about how we try to tweak his nap time, bed time, etc., in order to get him well rested and sleeping on a schedule that works for our family. To all of you who have children who are tricky sleepers, my heart goes out to you.
This whole morning, I have not felt like dealing with anything. I have been avoiding showering and getting dressed. I have been rotating in and out the audiobooks that Mark is listening to, hoping that he’ll like them and stay engaged. And stay out of my hair.
I have a meeting at 10 a.m., while Mark is at preschool, and I am glad that I have this meeting (a new client for my business), but I wish it could have fallen on a different day, a day when I feel a little more human. A day when I’m not fighting (and losing) against my sugar addiction. (I use the term “addiction” because I don’t know what other term to use; I mean no disrespect to people who battle addictions to other things.) A day when I feel “up” about my business and feel like I can handle thinking about the details that need to be attended to.
This morning, every fiber of my being wants to crawl into bed and read my book. I don’t want to shower, get dressed, get Mark to preschool, and meet with a client. I just want to hide from the world for a few hours, quite honestly, and possibly take a nap.
Thankfully, I don’t have bigger, badder things to battle today. But these are my battles, nonetheless.