The Honest Mommy

Uncensored thoughts on parenting & more

Emerging from fog of fatigue November 17, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 8:36 pm
Tags: , , ,

All day today, I have felt very worn out. Like it was a chore to just get up and walk across the room, not to mention actually getting anything accomplished (either physical or mental).

I finally took a nap after lunchtime, when Mark went down for his nap (glory hallelujah), and now I feel totally and completely energized. And almost frenetic thinking about all of the things that I can or should get done.

My big guy, Adam, will be home from school soon. How much will I be able to do once he’s home? We shall see. The real question is how long Mark will nap.

It’s been quite a week, with some very positive emotionally charged things going on, and then an emotional hangover afterwards. Will try to write more about that later.


Feeling a little glum today September 27, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 10:24 pm
Tags: , , ,

Late in the afternoon I realized that I was starting to feel a little down and low on energy.

I guess the reasons are:

  • Yesterday I received news that a family friend had passed away.
  • Lately we have been disciplining 5yo Adam a lot, to the point where I “miss” the fun things that he does and that we do together. When he misses out, I do, too.
  • I’m trying to stay within Weight Watchers Points for the day, and it takes energy to keep from turning to food to soothe myself.
  • The last several days, I have had more time to myself than usual, which is definitely a good thing. However, with all the time I’ve been spending on hobbies (at the computer), I think I’m feeling detached from and unmotivated about the everyday grind stuff like cleaning, cooking, laundry, and so on.
  • Knowing that winter is coming has me concerned about how I’m going to get through the winter with a 2yo who insists on going outside to play every chance he gets. And when he can’t go outside, it is exhausting to manage his fussiness and naughtiness. Many times I feel like we have a house full of toys (not literally, thank heavens) and nothing that he is interested in.

The kids will be in bed in two hours, and Hubby is home from work and aware that I’m having an “off” day.

Here’s wishing all of you moms a good rest of the day!


The most amazing thing just happened. July 16, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 7:42 pm
Tags: , , , ,

The most amazing thing just happened.

Kid_2 (9 months old) went down for a nap shortly after 1 p.m. He had been tired and crabby all morning, so I was hoping he would have a nice long nap so he could make it through the rest of the day without too much trouble. To my despair, he woke up crying around 1:45 p.m.

I knew he wasn’t fully rested, but the chances of this kid falling back asleep are like 1 in 10,000. I figured my only hope was to load both kids in the car and go for a drive, hoping that Kid_2 would get a few more minutes of sleep.

At this time I was lying in bed, trying to get some rest so I could stop feeling like I was operating in a dense fog. It had been a long, long day up until that point, due to me being worn out and Kid_2 being worn out. I decided that, since Kid_2 wasn’t screaming bloody murder, it would be all right to leave him in his crib for 5-10 minutes while I got some rest.

I didn’t even dare to hope that he would fall back asleep. I know this kid. I know that once he’s up, he’s up.

But then it got quieter, and quieter, and I realized: HE FELL BACK ASLEEP.

As a result, I got a quick nap. And I no longer feel as if I am going to end up in the looney bin. All because I decided to wait a few minutes before going to get him from his crib.


A new tool for being kind to myself February 4, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 9:46 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

While looking around on the iTunes store last night, I came across an album called Stress Relief with Dr. Siddharth Ashvin Shah – Guided Meditation Using Self Hypnosis Techniques and Yoga Nidra Relaxation.

I figured that I had nothing to lose by buying 2 tracks for 99 cents each. I’m glad I did. So far the tracks have helped me fall asleep at bedtime, fall asleep after getting up in the middle of the night to pump breastmilk, and rejuvenate in the middle of the day. I’m amazed at how good I feel (of course, it also helps that I went to bed before 9 p.m. last night).

I plan to buy more from this series. This frazzled, worn-out mom needs all the help she can get.


Feeling mommy-fatigue and mommy-anxiety January 27, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 2:23 am
Tags: , , ,

I certainly got hit with a case of the blahs tonight. My 3-month-old had a horrible day with regard to naps, and my 3-year-old didn’t nap at all. To top it off, I am still worn out from staying out “late” on Saturday night (11 p.m.). By the time my husband got home around 5:30 p.m. today, I was catatonic. Fortunately I got to crawl into bed for 20 minutes or so before hubby had to leave again. I just hope that my 20-minute recharge won’t mess with me falling asleep tonight.

Interestingly, I got hit with a bit of anxiety around 7:00 p.m. I had horrible anxiety the first few days home from the hospital, back in October, but really haven’t had much since. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that I am physically so worn out right now. The apparent source of my anxiety was that I was feeling overwhelmed with the long-term responsibilities of having two kids (anyone with 3+ kids is probably laughing while reading this).

I guess that as a mom, I feel responsible (along with my husband) for everything regarding my kids, including their future success in life (what if we don’t provide them with enough opportunities, etc. etc.). Part of me thinks this is hogwash, but part of me still worries, somehow.

With any luck, I’ll get a good night’s rest tonight and things will seem a little brighter in the morning.

As for this anxiety, it is an unwelcome visitor that, fortunately, is usually kept at bay. I have to keep an eye on it, though. I can really understand why some people have persistent problems with it. The first few days postpartum, it was so intense that I was desperate for it to go away.


Rest and the worn-out mom January 6, 2009

Filed under: Parenting,Personal Struggles — lotsofopinions @ 11:02 pm
Tags: , , , ,

I spent 2.5 hours this morning hovering around the edges of a preschool classroom while my oldest son, Adam, gave the preschool a trial run. Meanwhile I tried to keep Mark (2 months) content, which wasn’t as difficult as I had thought it would be. The main thing I worry about is getting him to nap, since he takes many short naps during the day. I am pretty good at getting him to nap in his infant car seat; I dread the day when we have to transition out of that car seat. I have no idea how I will get him to nap then, but hopefully by that point he will have settled into 2 longer naps per day.

Anyway, the preschool trial run went well, and Mark will start attending 2 mornings per week right away. When we got home, around noon, I was pretty wiped out. Adam went to MIL’s house this afternoon, so it’s just Mark and me. I have taken this opportunity to “rest when the baby rests,” as people are fond of saying.

I am at the point of fatigue where when I lie down, I get a warm, exhausted feeling all over my body. Sleep can overtake me quite quickly, which is unusual for me.  When I wake up from a nap, if I am still tired, it is so difficult to get myself up and out of bed. I really hate feeling this way. (I’m also so tired that it’s hard for me to write in a clear and organized manner!) I also tend to feel guilty for resting when I “should” be doing so many other things. However, I am slowly changing my feelings in this area.

When I start to feel guilty, I remind myself that it is normal and no fault of my own that I am so worn out. Most nights I do my best to get to bed as early as possible; it’s not as if I’m out painting the town red. So, when I get a chance to rest, I try to do so without feeling guilty. Rest is a biological need, not a luxury. I am a better wife and mother when I am rested, and if the laundry has to pile up and the dog hair has to accumulate in the corners, then so be it.

If other moms of young babies have energy to volunteer, have a spotless house, and cook dinner 7 nights a week, that is great for them. I am just not capable of that, and I’m (mostly) okay with that.