It’s all about energy April 16, 2010

It has been a rough week with regard to getting enough sleep, in part because my 1yo has decided to start getting up at 5 a.m. again, and also because I am taking part in a clinical study that requires me to drink 16 oz of liquid twice per day. The first bottle of the day isn’t too bad, but the evening bottle is really throwing a wrench into my get-to-bed plans. For that reason, I may decide to drop out of the study. It’s only been 3 days, so I’d like to give it a few more days.

Praise God, I was able to sleep for about an hour around lunchtime today. My 1yo was napping, and my 4yo was eating lunch and hanging out on his own. I lay down and my body felt like a bag of sand; I had no desire to fidget around or toss and turn. After 40 minutes I woke up and thought about getting up, but then I closed my eyes and next thing I knew it was 10 minutes later. This happened a few times.

I feel so very much better now. I have a chiropractor appointment later today, and I’m expecting to feel even better after that. I have been dragging so much lately due to lack of sleep and due to my back being out of whack. I want and need to feel better. My kids need me to be at my best, and so does my husband.

The most amazing thing just happened. July 16, 2009

The most amazing thing just happened.

Kid_2 (9 months old) went down for a nap shortly after 1 p.m. He had been tired and crabby all morning, so I was hoping he would have a nice long nap so he could make it through the rest of the day without too much trouble. To my despair, he woke up crying around 1:45 p.m.

I knew he wasn’t fully rested, but the chances of this kid falling back asleep are like 1 in 10,000. I figured my only hope was to load both kids in the car and go for a drive, hoping that Kid_2 would get a few more minutes of sleep.

At this time I was lying in bed, trying to get some rest so I could stop feeling like I was operating in a dense fog. It had been a long, long day up until that point, due to me being worn out and Kid_2 being worn out. I decided that, since Kid_2 wasn’t screaming bloody murder, it would be all right to leave him in his crib for 5-10 minutes while I got some rest.

I didn’t even dare to hope that he would fall back asleep. I know this kid. I know that once he’s up, he’s up.

But then it got quieter, and quieter, and I realized: HE FELL BACK ASLEEP.

As a result, I got a quick nap. And I no longer feel as if I am going to end up in the looney bin. All because I decided to wait a few minutes before going to get him from his crib.

Primal urges got the better of me July 14, 2009

The last few days, I have been operating in a fog, it seems. Not quite enough sleep, and feeling hungry a lot. For the first time in my 7-month-long Weight Watchers journey, I have consistently had problems with the feeling that I must reach out, grab, and eat anything that is within reach (my baby’s puff snacks are a frequent target). It’s almost as if a biological urge is taking over!

Soooo…. this afternoon I was able to sneak in a nap (a small miracle). Feeling great after the nap, I had the idea to mix up a batch of brownie batter and enjoy some “me time” while the kids were still sleeping. I’m not proud to say that I did very little to resist this urge. It truly felt that every fiber of my being – mind and body – wanted to seek comfort in the form of food and rest. Not even the knowledge that weigh-in is this afternoon motivated me to stay on the straight and narrow.

I also wanted to avoid dealing with the messy house and some other things that require my attention, such as preparing for Kid_1’s birthday party on Saturday.

What have I learned today?

1. It’s difficult to make good choices when I’m behind on sleep.
2. When I wake up from a nap, that is a danger zone for me as far as indulging in sweets or other comfort food.
3. When I’m low on “healthy treats” such as Skinny Cow ice cream, and low on healthy food that appeals to me and is quick and easy (such as fruit that is washed/cut/pre-portioned), that creates another danger zone for me.
4. If I keep up with my FlyLady routines, I am less likely to become discouraged by messes around the house (this morning I dilly dallied around, and never really got going on my routines).

Update on the kids’ sleep situations June 24, 2009

A lot of the nap struggles with my younger son, now 8 months old, that I have written about in the past have lessened. There are still days when I feel I need to pray to the nap gods to get things to work out, and the sleep patterns chart (http://www.babycenter.com/0_chart-track-your-babys-sleep_8030.bc) still fills up with Xs some days — an X is my way of noting a “failed nap attempt.” Overall, though, I generally can count on the time around lunchtime and late afternoon as being nap-free zones where I can plan a trip to the store or the park.

Our big struggle with Mark nowadays is his tendency to wake up around 4:30 a.m. (for a feeding, I guess) and then not go back to sleep, even though he’s clearly not rested. This makes for a rough ride until 8-9 a.m, when he will actually take a nap; he is wiped out by 7:30 a.m., typically, but will not nap then. We have tried putting him to bed earlier and later than his 6 p.m.-ish bedtime, with no clear success. If you, dear reader, have any suggestions, please let me know!

We are still working to find a schedule/rhythm that works for my almost-4-year-old, Adam. For a time, I was convinced that his afternoon nap was becoming a thing of the past, but my opinion has changed. Lately he has been ripe for a nap at 3 p.m., and my sense is that I should be putting him down earlier (which I have long wanted and tried to do, with virtually no success). It seems he does need his afternoon nap, but the downside is that when he does nap, he isn’t ready to fall asleep for the night until about 9 p.m. — far too late for my tastes.

Sleep schedule for 3-year-old, continued May 13, 2009

(My son Adam will be f0ur years old in a few months, so it’s somewhat misleading to call him a 3-year-old.) I have written many times before about our struggle to find a good sleep schedule/rhythm for him. We are still struggling with the pattern that involves: late nap, late falling asleep at bedtime, and waking up relatively early in the morning (therefore not getting enough sleep).

My latest tweak is to sort of micro-manage his nap. It has been a process that has evolved more and more toward micromanagement. A few months ago, we instituted a new rule that at naptime he had to stay in bed with no toys and no books (or just 1 or 2 books). This was a big change from before, when he was allowed to do pretty much anything within reason at naptime. Fast forward to now: at naptime, I sit outside his room and leave his door open a few inches. If he starts talking, singing, or fidgeting a lot, I remind him that it’s naptime. I wouldn’t say this is a magic bullet, but I do believe, based on the evidence, that doing this helps him to get settled down and to fall asleep sooner.

In my opinion, if he falls asleep at 2:45 instead of 3:00 p.m. or later, that is one small hurrah for a healthy sleep schedule. I’ve only been at this for less than a week, so we’ll see what the longterm effects are of this new practice.

In general, I do not think it’s a good idea to micromanage (a la John Rosemond’s parenting approach), but I also think that sometimes, a parent has to step in and do for a child what s/he is unwilling to do for him- or herself.

A quick update April 24, 2009

Things have gotten quite a bit better on the nap front for Mark (6 months old). The bad days are fewer and farther between than ever.

I am bummed that I can’t get out and shop garage sales like I have the past few summers. Having a baby to cart around, not to mention trying to respect baby’s napping needs, really puts a damper on things.

Sleep schedule for 3-year-old April 9, 2009

Still trying to figure out an optimal sleep schedule/rhythm for my 3.5-year-old, Adam. Yesterday he finally fell asleep for his afternoon nap around 3:00 p.m. He was still sleeping at 4:00 p.m., and normally I would be very diligent about waking him up at that time, in order to not mess up his bedtime. 

I really wanted to try something different, so I let him sleep until he woke up, on his own, around 5:00 p.m. I was sure he would be up super late last night, but he wasn’t. He fell asleep around 8-8:30 p.m., which is normal for him, AND…. he slept until almost 7:00 a.m. this morning, which is certainly “sleeping in” for him.

So far today, he seems to be in very good spirits, and there has been very little arguing, whining, pouting, and so on (all signs of him being tired).

I’m wondering if I should go against everything I’ve read, and just let his naps happen, whether they go after 4 p.m. or not. I think it’s worth a try, since what we’ve been doing to this point hasn’t exactly been wildly successful.

So Many Constraints April 4, 2009

It has really struck me over the past few months how constrained my life is right now. By constrained I mean that I cannot, as a general rule, do what I want to do, when I feel like doing it. The reasons are as follows:

1) Pumping breastmilk. For the first few months of my son Mark’s life, I hardly left the house, mostly due to my pumping schedule. It not too easy to run errands or socialize when you have to factor in a 6-7 times/day pumping schedule! I am down to 3 times/day now, which is certainly easier to maintain, but is still a challenge. No matter what day it is, no matter what fun things might be going on, I need to pump before bedtime, which takes at least 30 minutes. Not such a big deal, if I could sleep in once in awhile. But every morning, after waking up I race to the pump, while every minute that goes by, I am leaking (wasting) milk into my nursing pads. Not to mention that having a 3-year-old and an infant isn’t very conducive to sleeping in in the first place.

2) Naps. Adam, 3 1/2 years old, still takes an afternoon nap most days, so that is part of our schedule with only a few exceptions. Mark, 5 months, was a very difficult napper when he was younger. Some days it seemed I spent half of my waking hours just trying to get him to sleep (typically 3-4 short naps per day). Things have gotten easier, but I protect his nap schedule (as much as he has a schedule) quite diligently. To say that I feel tied down to the house would be an understatement. If we are somewhere like church and he doesn’t get his morning nap, my life is a hectic hell until I can get him his nap; therefore, I am not too interested in skipping or delaying his naps! In fact, Sunday morning church has taken a backseat to Mark’s morning nap. If I have to arrive late or not at all, so be it. I realize that I am in the minority in my approach to this, but I am not willing (or able?) to handle the stress that results from missed or delayed naps.

3) Bedtimes. Adam needs to have lights out around 7:30 p.m. Mark is “completely finished” for the day around 6 p.m. most days, occasionally later. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be in a restaurant or even at a friend’s house with Mark after 6 p.m. or even 5:30 p.m. And, of course, I don’t feel it’s fair to him to put him in that situation, unless it’s for something very important and/or very occasional (travel, important appointment, etc.). As a result, we don’t have much of a social life. If anything, one of us goes out while the other stays home and takes care of bedtimes. (As for a babysitter or grandparent putting him to bed… that is another topic entirely. We tried that last night, with disastrous results.)

3) Weight Watchers. In January, I joined Weight Watchers with at least 30 lbs to lose. So far, I have lost 17 lbs, and I am very happy about that. At the same time, anyone who’s done WW or any other plan knows that it takes dedication and structure, day in and day out, to make progress. I can’t just throw caution to the wind a few times or even one time per week, and also expect to lose any weight at my weekly weigh-in.

Last night, at a get-together at a friend’s house, all of the above-listed factors came into play in a very typical fashion. My MIL came over to babysit, and when I left the house, I was concerned about Mark [bedtime factor] because he seemed to be going downhill fast, with stranger anxiety and with getting tired. Sure enough, my husband, who was still home at the time, had to intervene and put Mark to bed because he had completely gone off the deep end.

I had left home early so I could go to Subway and get a Weight-Watchers-friendly dinner before going to the party. For me, I am much more likely to succeed if I can have a filling, healthy meal before being exposed to all sorts of fattening yummies. I spent a few hours at the party, and had only a few sips of margarita [pumping/breastfeeding factor] and almost nothing to eat [Weight Watchers factor]. Then I had to leave early (around 9 p.m.) so I could get home, relieve the babysitter, pump, and get to bed at a somewhat decent hour.

To an observer, I suppose I would appear to be rather a dull sort — no eating, drinking, being merry, or staying out past 9 p.m. In fact, I am a little self-conscious about how I am perceived, even though normally I’m perfectly comfortable being seen as the straight-laced one.

But the bottom line is, I cannot achieve the goals I need and want to achieve if I don’t consistently make decisions that respect the inherent boundaries of the above list. I have to take care of myself (sleep, health, losing weight) and protect my children’s sleep; if I don’t, there are prices to pay. I guess this is all part of being an adult and being a parent.

A nap for baby Mark — let’s hope this works January 29, 2009

Today I am trying something special to try to get my baby the nap he needs while also being on time to pick up my oldest from preschool. I am hoping he will fall asleep for his nap in his infant seat so that when it’s time to leave the house, I can just pick him up and go.

The Podee bottle helps with this because little Mark can eat himself to sleep (that is his favorite way to fall asleep). The author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child says that sucking is a natural way for infants to fall asleep, and there is nothing to be gained from fighting it. I say, Amen!

On a side note, some people don’t like the Podee bottle because they say it promotes laziness and prevents bonding with your child. While I can understand their concerns, I find the Podee to be indispensible and I know that I spend plenty of one-on-one time with my baby. It makes for a calmer, happier family (and mommy) when I can run to the store knowing that if Mark gets hungry en route, I can plug him into the Podee instead of putting everything to a halt so I can feed him. Frankly, since Mark takes 3-4 short naps per day, it is hard enough finding an opportunity to run an errand now and then!

UPDATE: Mark did fall asleep for a short nap (30 minutes) in his car seat. I think this will become normal operating procedure on preschool mornings, at least until he outgrows the infant seat.

It’s all about the sleep January 21, 2009

Yesterday was pretty miserable around here with regard to naps. Adam (3 1/2 yrs) did not take a nap for some reason. I was surprised, because for the past week or so he has fallen asleep shortly after I’ve put him down around 1:00 p.m. Either he has paid off his sleep debt, or he was determined not to nap, or both.

The real problem was with Mark. His rhythm got disrupted in the morning, due to taking Adam to and from preschool. For the entire day, post-preschool, I kept thinking I was doing the right things at the right times…. only to find that we had one failed nap attempt after another. By 7 p.m. I just didn’t know if I could handle, mentally or physically, yet another trip up and down the stairs (Mark’s room is on the second floor).

Fortunately, my dearest, dearest husband let me escape from the house at that point. I went to Walgreen’s and got some great deals, with the help of coupon & sale info over at www.couponmom.com. It was only my second real coupon outing, and I was wondering what the checkout guy would think of my cart full (okay, not exactly FULL) of microwave popcorn and my stack of coupons. He didn’t seem to mind, though.

I am pretty worn out today, which confirms that I need to move my bedtime to more like 9 p.m. instead of 10:30 p.m. I recently dropped one pump from my 6x/day routine, but I still pump in the middle of the night because it’s so important for my milk supply. It takes about 30 minutes to pump and, realistically, about that long to fall asleep afterwards. No wonder I’m tired!