The Honest Mommy

Uncensored thoughts on parenting & more

An Honest Report June 13, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 1:37 pm
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It is 8:30 in the morning. It is summer break. Both boys, ages 6 and 3, are with me all day every day (I am not accustomed to this). So far this morning, we’ve had cooking, cleaning, yelling, screaming, door slamming, handwriting practice, arts and crafts, negotiating, and more.

I am exhausted. I can’t seem to get a good night’s sleep, in part because of Mark’s hollering at night (he seems to holler when his sleep schedule is off). I have hardly been home the last few days, and now that I am home, I just want/need to chill out.

It’s just a few days into summer break, and my mental health is already taking a beating. Perhaps I will put the boys in front of Sesame Street for an hour or two. I hate to do that and don’t do it very often.


Day 3 of Hubby being out of town July 28, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 1:13 am
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I think – no, I know – my morale took a beating today.

Today was Day 3 of Hubby being out of town. Yesterday was long, but I was focused on “let’s enjoy summer while it’s here” and had a good day overall. Today – I don’t know what exactly was different, but by the time I was serving supper to the kids, I didn’t have much good humor left to endure DS2’s shenanigens and DS1’s complaining and bad attitude.

I texted Hubby to give him a heads-up that by the time he got home from his trip this evening, I would be glad to see him but maybe not in a very good mood. I explained that I felt like a hamster stuck on a wheel and that I was very tired of it. I also explained that I have a million things on my to-do list, yet I’m lucky if I can take care of my basic needs. I hope he will be understanding.

I’ve recently re-instated FlyLady routines into my day, and it definitely helps to keep CHAOS away. It’s also a lot of work to actually DO laundry every day and CLEAN the kitchen/kitchen sink every morning. I think I’m enjoying the fruits of my labor, but also feeling the effects of not plopping onto the couch every time I feel the urge. I’m sure Hubby being out of town also plays a large part in my feeling overall wigged out and worn out.


The Honest Mommy would like a break from the kitchen, please July 22, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 3:44 pm
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This morning, from 6:15 – 9:30 a.m., I spent nearly all of my time on the following tasks

  • getting myself dressed
  • searching frantically for an uninterrupted 5-minute period during which I could wash my hands, dry my hands, and put my contacts in
  • dealing with children and watercolor paints
  • getting DS1 and DS2 dressed
  • directing DS2 to do his morning routine
  • preparing and serving breakfast to DS1 and DS2
  • working on laundry (folding, putting away)
  • wiping down bathroom
  • washing dishes
  • emptying dishwasher
  • wiping down kitchen sink
  • managing sibling squabbles and crises
  • getting breakfasts number two and three for DS2
  • getting DS2 ready to go outside, then come inside, times two
At 9:30 I finally was ready to sit down and have some breakfast. I had worked so, so, so hard to get everything squared away and everyone taken care of, just so I could have a few minutes to eat in peace.
But, no such luck. When DS2 saw that I was having hard-boiled egg and cheese, he immediately wanted some. So, the egg which I had carefully heated up (twice) for myself ended up going to DS2. I ended up eating while standing at the kitchen counter and doling out bites of food to DS2 (I don’t like to give him too much at once in case he decides to throw it or just not eat it).
Fast forward to 10:30 a.m. The kids were outside playing for 15-20 minutes (yay!), then both came inside and DS2 asked for a snack. (This is the child who I had to force to finish his breakfast because he declared himself “full,” so that I could actually “finish” cleaning the kitchen).
You know what? I do not want to go into the kitchen and come up with a snack, dirty more dishes, create crumbs. I just spent my whole morning, up to this point, trying to “finish” cleaning the kitchen so I could get out of there.
Yes, I am crabby. No, I am not in the running for Mother of the Year.

Trying to alleviate yucky, anxious feelings July 11, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 4:17 pm
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For as long as I can remember, I’ve had trouble with anxiety. Not “worrying” that something bad will happen, like a car crash, but more of a generalized feeling of anxiety that feels like butterflies in my stomach or tightness in my chest.

I’ve had a lot of this anxiety today. I realized that it may stem, in part, from all of the loose ends and unfinished business I have right now. What does the rest of July look like? What still needs to be done to plan my son Adam’s birthday party? What steps can I take right now to move certain projects forward? Which projects can be put on the back burner for now? How and when will I get back on the low-carb wagon (low carb is how I manage my weight and my health)? When will I work on photos from our recent European trip? ¬†What’s for dinner tonight?

At the moment, I’m insisting that the kids play outside so that I can work out some of these things. I do get pretty antsy when I want the kids to just play on their own for awhile so that I can work on things. Surely mothers of previous generations did not spend their days constantly entertaining their kids and taking them on fun outings — there were too many other things to do!


Working out which way is “up” July 10, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 2:49 pm
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It was one week ago that my family and I returned from our gigantic (to me) European trip. I truthfully had no idea how difficult it would be to get back into the swing of things here at home. I had no idea about the sleep and clingy-ness issues that would arise with 2-year-old Mark. I had no idea how much fatigue would affect me, as well as feeling depressed, unmotivated, and unfocused.

This morning, I told Hubby that I truly do not want to be grumpy and negative, and that I’m working to figure out what types of things will help me move forward. I theorized that “getting back into FlyLady” might be good for me, as it seems that the times when I’ve followed FlyLady routines and mindsets have been good times in my life.

I went to iTunes to look for the FlyLady podcast; I used to listen to her podcast a lot while working around the house. It seems, though, that she no longer has a weekly podcast that is HER. All I can find is the Flylady and Friends podcast which cycles through Gramma, Leanne Ely, Missus Smartypants, and so on. (Do any FlyBabies have advice for me here? Am I missing something?)

Anyway, Hubby took both kids to church stuff this morning, where I will join them later for the worship service. Meanwhile, I have some RARE!!!!!! time to do my FlyLady routine, tidy up, and have some time to myself (hence this blog post). Next up is some devotional time, another piece of my life which needs to get back into place.


Back to my imperfect life June 15, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 1:12 pm
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We just returned from a visit to Hubby’s family (dad and step-mom) who live a few states away. Overall the visit went well, especially considering Mark (age 2 1/2) and his very terrible-two-ness.

By the end of our visit, I did get rather tired of how “perfect” everything is there. It’s the kind of house where even the bathroom handsoap is trendy/hip/fancy.

Another factor which got under my skin — and was no one’s fault but my own — was Hubby’s step-sister and her perfect-ness. By that I mean that she is very fashionable, pretty, and has a good job. Same for her husband. I started to question myself, my personality, my tendencies, my choices in life. Yes, I “get to” stay at home with my kids (she has a 1-year-old), but my career prospects don’t look great after being out of the workforce for five years. Money is tight, and we are definitely not going on a tropical vacation anytime soon (they did so recently while their easygoing baby was cared for by the grandparents).

I’m glad to be back home and back in my element. The kids can play in the dirt; I can hang out online; I can work on my photography (going from hobby to business right now); I can get back to low-carb eating (difficult to do while being a guest during a birthday-party weekend). I can take the kids and do whatever seems good for them in the moment, like spend a bunch of time at parks. These are all things I can’t very well do while being a guest at the in-laws’ house.

Overall, I felt pretty rattled by being in the in-laws’ perfect house and being around my perfect sister-in-law (though she is very, very nice and I like her a lot). It’s hard for me to feel good about myself and my family’s situation when others seem to have and be “more.”

What about you, are you a SAHM/SAHD? Do you find it hard to be around others and their perfect-ness?


Food… food… food. May 22, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 1:55 pm
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Getting ready for church this morning. Sunday School is at 9:30. Worship service is at 10:45. We usually get home by 12:30 at the latest.

My dilemma is always, how much and what kind of food to pack for my kids (ages 2 and 5)?

After years of taking care of my older son, Adam, I have developed a particular sensitivity about hearing, “Mom, I’m hungry.” It just drives me batty at times. Outside of breakfast – snack – lunch – snack – dinner, I do not want to have to worry about preparing/serving/toting along yet MORE food!

Lately I have gotten away from the all-carbs-all-the-time mode of feeding the kids, especially for their snacks. I suspect that anything made with flour goes over well in the moment, but makes them more hungry in the short-term. This rules out bread, crackers, cereal, and granola bars. This leaves nuts, fruit, and cheese as our options for on-the-go.

This is what I have packed for church this morning. Almonds, cheese cubes, banana, and cut-up apple.

It’s hard to explain, I guess, but it is really a hot button for me when we are away from home and Adam (5 years old) complains that he’s hungry and wants something to eat. I feel like I *have* to be prepared . What’s worse is when he doesn’t want to eat the food I have brought along — but that becomes a discipline issue where I can insist that he not complain or else there will be a consequence. Or when he eats everything I have brought along and claims that he is still hungry and wants more. It just drives me crazy.

I see other parents bring a tiny little baggie of cereal or something, and for them that is being plenty prepared for their kids’ snack attack. Meanwhile, I’m packing a buffet and find that it’s either not enough food or the kids don’t want it. (In the case of the latter, as I mentioned before, that is just too-bad-so-sad for my older child. For my younger child, it is neither here nor there because he is not as big of an eater.)

At church there tends to be junk food available from different sources and at different times, and I do not want church to become a junk-food-fest for my kids. This is another reason I try to be very prepared with kid-food when it comes to church.