The Honest Mommy

Uncensored thoughts on parenting & more

Just venting — feeling burned out today April 9, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 2:46 pm
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At the moment, my two boys are playing outside while Hubby is working on a project and also keeping an eye on them. I am very thankful to have this quiet period of the morning; I certainly need it.

Today I’m struggling with feeling beat down and worn out. Weekends sometimes do that to me. It seems like every single morning, I spend (what seems like) hours just trying to get the kitchen in shape, get everyone fed, get everyone dressed. I can feel wiped out by 8 a.m. when Mark, my 2yo, is going through a time of getting up very early in the morning, around 5 a.m.

On the weekends it really hits me — I get tired of doing the same stuff day after day after day. I am physically tired; I long to get a good night’s rest at least a few nights in a row. I need about 8 hours of sleep, and for people like my husband who seem to thrive on less, well, goodie goodie for them, but I can no more be like them than I can change my height or my eye color. I get tired of feeling like things get tense when I ask for time away, to go to the gym or just out where I can be by myself. I’m not sure if my husband realizes how much it throws me off when, after I ask for something like a chance to go to the gym over the weekend, he sucks air through his teeth and contemplates (I guess) whether that is do-able. It makes me feel like saying, Oh sorry, I forgot, I just need to stay around home and clean and do laundry and organize stuff every hour of every day.

We have these conversations over and over again where we agree upon the need for me to have Mom’s Time Away, but I feel like that all gets forgotten about because things always come up. Home projects, church commitments, and so on.

I also feel — and maybe I am just making this up and it’s not really happening — that I get judged for times when I *do* take a break (gasp) during the day, like I am doing right now. But you know, I’ve been awake since 5 a.m. and I am just tired. I feel like I push myself every day to fight against the tide of dirt and clutter and chaos that are part of raising kids and taking care of a home; when do I get to just take a break? And not just during that 45 minutes between when the kids go to bed and when I need to go to bed. When do I get to stop and enjoy life for a bit, without feeling like I’m being judged or burdening the family by doing so?

 

What kind of “playdate mom” am I? An old-fashioned one. April 7, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 3:05 pm
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It’s the time of week where 5yo Adam’s friend, also 5 years old, comes over to play for a few hours. Like any mom who’s hosting a playdate, I have to decide how I’m going to conduct myself. Will I be super friendly, just call me by my first name, what can I do to provide fun for you guys? Or will I be old fashioned, matter-of-fact, please call me Mrs. Doe?

Those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile know that I tend toward the latter, not the former.

I definitely don’t want to be a jerk to the kids, but neither am I the children’s “friend.” If I had to pick, and I think picking becomes necessary at some point, I’d rather the kids be a little “afraid” of me than for them to feel like I’m their equal.

Reading this, if you’re a mom, you may be thinking, “What a jerk! I’d never send my kids over to her house!” And indeed, if you pale at the idea that I would ask your child to call me Mrs. Doe instead of ¬†by my first name; if you are uncomfortable with the idea that I would ask your child to play outside for 30 minutes before coming in (on a nice day with plenty of safe and appropriate options for outdoor play), then you probably would not want to send your child to my house for a playdate.

It is somewhat rare these days to run into a mom who lives by old-fashioned principles, but I am that mom. I am not mean, I am not short-tempered (usually! ha!), I am not unreasonable, but I am old fashioned.