The Honest Mommy

Uncensored thoughts on parenting & more

Just venting — feeling burned out today April 9, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 2:46 pm
Tags: , , , ,

At the moment, my two boys are playing outside while Hubby is working on a project and also keeping an eye on them. I am very thankful to have this quiet period of the morning; I certainly need it.

Today I’m struggling with feeling beat down and worn out. Weekends sometimes do that to me. It seems like every single morning, I spend (what seems like) hours just trying to get the kitchen in shape, get everyone fed, get everyone dressed. I can feel wiped out by 8 a.m. when Mark, my 2yo, is going through a time of getting up very early in the morning, around 5 a.m.

On the weekends it really hits me — I get tired of doing the same stuff day after day after day. I am physically tired; I long to get a good night’s rest at least a few nights in a row. I need about 8 hours of sleep, and for people like my husband who seem to thrive on less, well, goodie goodie for them, but I can no more be like them than I can change my height or my eye color. I get tired of feeling like things get tense when I ask for time away, to go to the gym or just out where I can be by myself. I’m not sure if my husband realizes how much it throws me off when, after I ask for something like a chance to go to the gym over the weekend, he sucks air through his teeth and contemplates (I guess) whether that is do-able. It makes me feel like saying, Oh sorry, I forgot, I just need to stay around home and clean and do laundry and organize stuff every hour of every day.

We have these conversations over and over again where we agree upon the need for me to have Mom’s Time Away, but I feel like that all gets forgotten about because things always come up. Home projects, church commitments, and so on.

I also feel — and maybe I am just making this up and it’s not really happening — that I get judged for times when I *do* take a break (gasp) during the day, like I am doing right now. But you know, I’ve been awake since 5 a.m. and I am just tired. I feel like I push myself every day to fight against the tide of dirt and clutter and chaos that are part of raising kids and taking care of a home; when do I get to just take a break? And not just during that 45 minutes between when the kids go to bed and when I need to go to bed. When do I get to stop and enjoy life for a bit, without feeling like I’m being judged or burdening the family by doing so?

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5 Responses to “Just venting — feeling burned out today”

  1. jodisamantha Says:

    “I also feel — and maybe I am just making this up and it’s not really happening — that I get judged for times when I *do* take a break (gasp) during the day, like I am doing right now. But you know, I’ve been awake since 5 a.m. and I am just tired. I feel like I push myself every day to fight against the tide of dirt and clutter and chaos that are part of raising kids and taking care of a home; when do I get to just take a break? And not just during that 45 minutes between when the kids go to bed and when I need to go to bed. When do I get to stop and enjoy life for a bit, without feeling like I’m being judged or burdening the family by doing so?”

    Once again, something I could have written myself. I have been a SAHM for a decade and we are only now slowly getting away from homeschooling as well. It has been hard at times. You are not alone…

    • lotsofopinions Says:

      Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your comments.

      Homeschooling is something that I considered quite seriously recently, but decided against it (at least for now) in part because I feared it would be my undoing.

  2. rachel milosek Says:

    I can totally relate. My husband and I both work retail jobs and he is a Full Time Furniture Manager. He has been gone most of our marriage because of his various jobs and when I got pregnant he told me he would get a second job so I could have the first year of our daughters life off. That never happened and I was forced to go back to work less than a month after giving birth. I find I am becoming more and more resentful about everything as I find that because I only work part time out of the house I am expected to do EVERYTHING in regards to the baby, housecleaning, bills, you name it. I to feel overwhelmed and exchausted and now I find out a may have Fibromyalgia on top of it. So I feel like there is no me anymore. I think the problem is husbands naturally have blinders on their eyes. They only see that it is their job to go to work and financially support their families and the price us wives pay seems like so little to them because they feel their plate is already full. I hate to say it but they will never truly understand how we feel or what our needs our. Only fellow wives and mothers can relate.

    • lotsofopinions Says:

      Hi, Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experiences. I think you are right that fellow wives/mothers are the ones who truly understand the cries of our hearts. A key factor is for people (husbands, etc.) to understand that being at home with a child means there is very little time to spend on things other than caring for the child!


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