What kind of “playdate mom” am I? An old-fashioned one. April 7, 2011

It’s the time of week where 5yo Adam’s friend, also 5 years old, comes over to play for a few hours. Like any mom who’s hosting a playdate, I have to decide how I’m going to conduct myself. Will I be super friendly, just call me by my first name, what can I do to provide fun for you guys? Or will I be old fashioned, matter-of-fact, please call me Mrs. Doe?

Those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile know that I tend toward the latter, not the former.

I definitely don’t want to be a jerk to the kids, but neither am I the children’s “friend.” If I had to pick, and I think picking becomes necessary at some point, I’d rather the kids be a little “afraid” of me than for them to feel like I’m their equal.

Reading this, if you’re a mom, you may be thinking, “What a jerk! I’d never send my kids over to her house!” And indeed, if you pale at the idea that I would ask your child to call me Mrs. Doe instead of  by my first name; if you are uncomfortable with the idea that I would ask your child to play outside for 30 minutes before coming in (on a nice day with plenty of safe and appropriate options for outdoor play), then you probably would not want to send your child to my house for a playdate.

It is somewhat rare these days to run into a mom who lives by old-fashioned principles, but I am that mom. I am not mean, I am not short-tempered (usually! ha!), I am not unreasonable, but I am old fashioned.

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Self-directed activities for kids September 13, 2010

Thought of the day:

I think that some of children’s best, most positive, memories come from things that they come up with to do on their own, without adult participation or direction. It could be a craft, a game (even a board game that they play by themselves), or any activity that they dream up.

At present, my 5yo son is riding a “Big Wheel” through a loop that he discovered on his own. The loop goes through our garage, out the door, through a fence gate, and back in through the garage door. Clearly there is something imaginative going on, since he is talking to himself and is very intent on this activity.

If I were outside with him, even keeping to myself by reading the newspaper, he probably wouldn’t have come up with this idea. I think that the very presence of an adult can keep a child from fully exploring his/her imaginative protential.

I don’t advocate neglecting a child, and I believe that babies and younger children “need” more from adults than older children do. But all in all, it seems to me that a preschool-aged child benefits a great deal from having time to him/herself, with no direction or any kind of interference from adults.