Lately I have been… not sure how to describe it…. down in the dumps? Feeling out of rhythm? Feeling out of control?
There are a few major home projects that have thrown a wrench into our regular routine, and in fact I’ve spent two out of the last four weekends with the kids at my parents’ house so Hubby can work.
Back in January I discovered (re-discovered, sort of) low-carb eating when I read Why We Get Fat and What to Do About It by Gary Taubes. The problem is, while I think low-carb eating is an answer (the answer?) to my weight issues, it is so darn difficult to stick with it. At the moment I am trying to pull out of a downward carb spiral. I just don’t seem to have the necessary motivation and organization to make it happen.
One thing about low-carb eating that I’ve discovered is that I need to spend more time in the kitchen than I’m accustomed to. Bacon and eggs for breakfast means time spent prepping food, cooking food, and cleaning up afterwards. Deviled eggs for snacks means I have to make the darn things. Taco salad for lunches means time spent chopping and washing lettuce and cooking the ground beef. It’s not like Weight Watchers where I can just buy frozen meals or choose a “light” option for a meal or a snack.
Then there’s this winter weather which makes it difficult to go outside, go for a walk, or go to a park. It’s March, and I am tired of the cold.
I am also tired of my 2-year-old, Mark, dictating what we can or can’t do at home or away. I am *not* supermom. I do *not* have endless patience for toddler hijinks and toddler moods. I do get tired of looking at the same four walls every day. I do get tired of hearing, “Can I have a snack?” at the very moment I’ve just put the kitchen back in order. I get tired of feeling guilty about not spending time with my 5-year-old during the precious time in the day when my 2-year-old is napping.
I get tired of the endless task of paring down our belongings so that we can live somewhat comfortably in our small home, knowing that sooner or later my mom (who is wonderful and means very, very well) will ask whether we have this or that kind of toy or craft supply. The truth is, I would *love* to keep lots of different things on hand, but we just don’t have the space to store or even use a lot of things.
I also get tired of the battle with my weight, of the battle with my tendency (to put it lightly) to use food to deal with my stress, boredom, anxiety, and so on.
It feels good to get my frustrations into black and white. To anyone reading this who has similar struggles, I wish you the best!