The Honest Mommy

Uncensored thoughts on parenting & more

Tension with Hubby lately November 27, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 5:07 pm
Tags: , , ,

Over the last few weeks, Hubby and I have had some tension over …. I can’t believe I’m typing this … whether I do “enough” around the house, including keeping the kitchen clean during the day.

For me to think that he might find my work habits lacking really, really hurts, because 1) I believe that my work ethic around the home is quite good, and 2) Many times in the past he has encouraged me to take breaks and not feel like I have to be doing something all the time.

Yesterday afternoon, after Mark (age 2) went down for his nap, I got out my Kindle and settled in to read for awhile. I sensed some weirdness coming from Hubby, and after a bit of digging, I found out that he was thinking, “Taking a break? What is she taking a break from?” From my point of view, I had gotten back from shopping at 10 a.m. and had done a lot of scurrying around the house, decluttering, putting things away, and tending to Mark. I had also taken some time to eat lunch and popcorn afterwards, while reading (one of my favorite ways to relax), and I had done some things at the computer. That being said, I definitely wouldn’t say that I ‘lounged around’ from 10 am – 2 pm!

I don’t think Hubby realizes that when he is at work and I am at home with the kids during a typical “workday,” that it is exhausting to tend to housework while also keeping the kids content, safe, fed, and so on — while also cleaning up after them. The fact is, he is simply not here to see when I’m vacuuming, mopping, wiping down the bathroom, cleaning the kitchen for the 5th, 10th, or 15th time in a day.

This whole topic is very, very frustrating and saddening to me. Does Hubby think I’m lazy? Really? Ouch.


2 Responses to “Tension with Hubby lately”

  1. Michael G. Says:

    You’re right. He doesn’t realise what hard work it is and he ought to. Looking after the kids and house duties is the equal if not significantly more physically demanding than most jobs.

  2. lotsofopinions Says:

    Hubby and I ended up having a 1 hour + conversation on Saturday afternoon, and we got a lot of things straightened out. I feel much, much better about the whole topic now. That is a huge relief because Hubby is my only real source of feedback, and it really throws me off when he doesn’t seem to think that I’m doing a “good job.”

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