The Honest Mommy

Uncensored thoughts on parenting & more

Getting to know myself. I am who I am! October 22, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 12:24 am
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It’s 7 o’clock on a Thursday evening, and I am at a coffee shop nibbling on treats, messing around on my laptop, and generally enjoying myself. This seems like something of a miracle to me, for several reasons.

First, the kids are not in bed yet, but I am not at home and not wrestling small children through their evening routine. That alone is reason to celebrate, because while I love my children with all of my heart, I need just about every break I can get.

Also, tonight I was originally going to go “out” with some girlfriends for our monthly Ladies Night. Sounds great, right? Well, it is great in its way, but I am not super close with these gals (used to be pretty close with one of them, but that’s a different story) and I am not a drinker at all. Many (all?) of these gals are drinkers, and I am tired of trying to fit in with them.

A few weeks ago, these gals had a big night out planned, and with the encouragement of Hubby, I accompanied them. To make a long story short, I did enjoy some aspects of that evening, but in the end I felt more depressed and left out afterwards than I had felt in a long time. It turns out that there was a key text message that I didn’t receive until much too late; if I had gotten this message in a timely manner, the evening might have turned out in some way that did not involve me crying on the drive home.

But looking back, I believe everything happened for a reason. Hubby and I had some very good conversations about some very important topics, key among them: Wifey being who Wifey is, and not feeling obligated to fit in with others, and (this is crucial) Hubby not pressuring Wifey to fit in.

It was really important to me that Hubby admitted that he had been pressuring me, sometimes subtly and sometimes not so subtly, to go with the crowd for certain things.

Also, I shared with him (and he understood and accepted) that a “night out” for me to get rejuvenated might not look the way he or someone else would expect it to look. I am introverted, so for me to recharge, I need to spend time alone or possibly with one or two close friends. That’s not to say that I can’t or won’t go out with the drinkers now and then (sipping my one beer for the evening), but from now on I will be more assertive about planning “Me time” that I really want to do.

And that leads me to this coffee shop on a Thursday evening. I love it! Especially since I enjoyed a few hours with a friend today while our children played together (such a beautiful thing). It’s hard to imagine a better day.


One Response to “Getting to know myself. I am who I am!”

  1. Trish Says:

    Just wanted to say that I can relate to this. It’s so important to know what will be helpful for you personally. Sometimes I need to be with one or two friends and other times what I really need is time completely alone.

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