The Honest Mommy

Uncensored thoughts on parenting & more

Where does my SAHM Burnout come from? Part I August 2, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 8:49 pm
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Now that I’ve been a mom, and a SAHM, for five years, I have realized that I qualify for the diagnosis “SAHM burnout.”

There are a number of things in my everyday life that contribute to frustration and burnout. No doubt, may moms can relate to my frustrations, and yet other moms will read this and think that I have it good and have nothing to “complain” about. Even so, these are the realities of my everyday life, and I can’t escape the fact that they wear on me.


We live in a fairly small, 1940s-built house, and while it has some redeeming features, there are a number of limitations to our home that wear on me day after day.

Our one bathroom is quite small (could it be any smaller and still have a bathtub? not sure) and it is frustrating trying to keep it clean and tidy. What I wouldn’t give to have a drawer or two, and a little closet to store towels and such?

The second floor of our 1 1/2 story home gets warm in the summer, despite our central air conditioning. I sleep so much better in cooler temperatures, but in order to get our bedroom cool-ish, we have to blast the A/C such that it seems like a waste. I get tired of waking up in a sweat, night after night, and constantly trying to find the ideal set-up for fans so that they cool me but aren’t aggravating. We did purchase a window a/c unit, but Hubby needs to dedicate several hours to modifying our storm windows so the unit will fit. (This will not be pretty!)

We have just enough space to live, but we don’t have a space where I feel I can “get away.” True, we do have our master bedroom on the second floor, but it is so cluttered and overall unpleasant that it doesn’t feel or function like a getaway where I can read, relax, and so on. Our bed also lacks a headboard, and this limits how comfortable I can get for doing things other than sleeping.

We also don’t have a space for me to dedicate to a hobby such as  scrapbooking, nor do we have any space where I can spread out project materials and leave them there (in part due to a very curious toddler in the house), nor do we have much space for exercising indoors (though I do have a gym membership, thankfully!).

There are other significant frustrations in our house, such as the kitchen, but I won’t go into those topics right now. Suffice it to say that it is challenging to live in this house, especially as a SAHM with two young children.


Sleep is a frequent topic here on my blog, and for good reason. I am always – I do mean always – keeping an eye on the clock so that I will, I can only hope, get enough sleep. Without a good night’s rest (about 8 hours, give or take), my emotions go haywire, my temper gets short, my gumption vaporizes, and so on. It is a lot like being ill, physically and mentally.

Some barriers to getting enough sleep

  • Falling asleep “in time” at night
  • Having to get up and go to the bathroom, then having difficulty falling back asleep
  • Having my sleep disturbed by my 21-month-old, Mark — either when he cries out at night, or requires soothing — especially when I have difficulty falling back asleep
  • Having to get up with Mark when he awakens early, around 5 to 5:30 a.m., occasionally as early as 4:30 a.m.

How I envy those who seem to breeze by on a short night’s rest!

That’s all for today. It is therapeutic for me to get the sources of my burnout “on paper.” I do hope that other moms reading this will feel just a bit better knowing that they’re not alone.


4 Responses to “Where does my SAHM Burnout come from? Part I”

  1. Average Girl Says:

    I also need my sleep, but rarely get it. My dark circles used to go away after one good night’s sleep, but now I believe they are here to stay…

  2. .:[CrypticAzn]:. Says:

    Wow, I think you’ve just described something I’ve been feeling but couldn’t quite put a finger on it. Is that a SAHM thing, where we all are supposed to be sleep-deprived and still need to find a way to manage the home without being beaattchy?! I hardly get enough sleep as well… Plus we live in cramped quarters, as we’re a family of 4 (plus 3 pets) living out of an apartment — and we’ve been housing my sibling since April too, so yeah… cramped is a loose interpretation of sardines in a can.

    You’re not alone, although I’m not sure if that’s much of a comfort for you…

    Good post!

  3. lotsofopinions Says:

    Averagegirl and Cryptic, Thank you for posting your comments. I really appreciate it. It is definitely good to know that I’m not alone in my frustrations and burnout!
    I will be posting more on this topic, so stay tuned.

  4. Escapetomedia Says:

    Very similar situation here. I just googled sahm bedroom and your comforting post came up. I have a 3 and 5 year old in San Diego, 900sq ft home. Husband comes home at 7pm, we all share one tiny bathroom. Live inland with NO AC an it gets hot in august here! I’m grumpy if I don get 8 hours as well… Don’t have enough storage for life. I try to keep the material minimal but just cannot keep up with it all. Sometimes I wished I lived in a small village where women help each other out with the dailies. You cook, I wash! Etc… I feel like I’m drowning daily with my active girlies. They need so much attention and I never get a break, babysitter/family to watch them so I can re-organize. It’s better than when they were 1and 3 but still….just with this year I could get 2 days to rest and 3 to declutter/organize. That’s all I want!!

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