The Honest Mommy

Uncensored thoughts on parenting & more

Attitude boot-camp for 3yo June 22, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — lotsofopinions @ 1:49 pm
Tags: , , ,
My soon-to-be-4yo son has developed quite an attitude over the past few weeks. He has been on John Rosemond’s ticket system for quite some time, but I found it difficult to justify taking a ticket away for some of his more subtle, “gray area” behaviors. No doubt, DS figured this out a long time ago, and that’s why these behaviors have grown and grown.

 His “disturbing the peace” behaviors have increased lately, in that he repeats things loudly, over and over; goes on and on about various things; and acts squirrely around the house, doing things he knows he’s not really supposed to be doing. I should mention that the underlying motive for disturbing the peace appears to be a desire to get attention, not necessarily excess energy. Being well-versed in Rosemond’s philosophy, I believe that a child (who is not an an abusive or neglectful situation) who is vying for more attention probably needs LESS attention, an attitude adjustment, or both.

Other problems that have increased recently include outright disobedience to clear instructions, and blatantly sassy words or actions.

DH and I decided over the weekend that something had to be done. After DH headed off to work this morning, I decided that any time he did something that I don’t like, he would be immediately sent to rest in bed for five minutes. (Tickets will still be used for blatant things like disobeying an instruction.) Behaviors I have been targeting include any type of sassiness, arguing, or whining, as well as anything that disturbs the peace.

It has been an amazing experience already. I feel empowered to calmly declare any type of annoying behavior to be unacceptable. Sending him to lie down for 5 minutes at the first sign of unacceptable behavior has a completely different effect than “yada yada” discipline (saying things like “please stop that,” “please be nice,” and so on). I also have to say that ignoring certain behaviors has not been an effective strategy, since the behaviors have steadily increased to out-of-control levels.

Less than 2 hours into our day, DS is already much more pleasant to be around (and, I would say, he appears happier and calmer as well). He is simply not allowed to be sassy, to argue, to disobey, and so on. I am so thankful to John Rosemond for teaching DH and me that we have every right to expect pleasant behavior from our son. Just because it’s “normal” for a 3yo to display these behaviors and attitudes doesn’t mean that we should sit back and accept it!

 

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