I certainly got hit with a case of the blahs tonight. My 3-month-old had a horrible day with regard to naps, and my 3-year-old didn’t nap at all. To top it off, I am still worn out from staying out “late” on Saturday night (11 p.m.). By the time my husband got home around 5:30 p.m. today, I was catatonic. Fortunately I got to crawl into bed for 20 minutes or so before hubby had to leave again. I just hope that my 20-minute recharge won’t mess with me falling asleep tonight.
Interestingly, I got hit with a bit of anxiety around 7:00 p.m. I had horrible anxiety the first few days home from the hospital, back in October, but really haven’t had much since. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that I am physically so worn out right now. The apparent source of my anxiety was that I was feeling overwhelmed with the long-term responsibilities of having two kids (anyone with 3+ kids is probably laughing while reading this).
I guess that as a mom, I feel responsible (along with my husband) for everything regarding my kids, including their future success in life (what if we don’t provide them with enough opportunities, etc. etc.). Part of me thinks this is hogwash, but part of me still worries, somehow.
With any luck, I’ll get a good night’s rest tonight and things will seem a little brighter in the morning.
As for this anxiety, it is an unwelcome visitor that, fortunately, is usually kept at bay. I have to keep an eye on it, though. I can really understand why some people have persistent problems with it. The first few days postpartum, it was so intense that I was desperate for it to go away.